Does Soap Clean?

This is the answer: yes. Always has, always will. In fact, they’ve traced soap to as far back as 2800 BC. That’s nuts. If you’re not a christian, but played in a christian basketball league; this is a few hundred years after the Noah’s Ark part of the Bible. If that’s the case, I know exactly where they got the fat for the soap they invented.

After all, soap is essentially just three base ingredients; some sort of fat or oil, an alkali metal, and a liquid. Let’s break this down, just like soap does when it disorganizes the microorganisms (germs) membrane lipid bilayer therefore denaturing the germ’s protein. That’s that.

Just kidding. I’ll explain that, but we’ve got to go back to the specifics. Let’s focus on what the ingredients really consist of. It’s about to get dense.

Let’s say we want to make our very own soap. First you have to pick you alkali. The alkali metals on the periodic table is the column on the far left under hydrogen. That being said, hydrogen is not an alkali metal. This is called the s-block (If you include hydrogen it is called group 1). The two used for soap are potassium and sodium.

For a liquid soap you’d want to go with potassium hydroxide, but a bar soap is more aesthetic so let’s talk about that. A good homemade bar soap will use sodium hydroxide. Sodium hydroxide is a corrosive that can burn through skin, so wear rubber gloves to protect yourself. That scene from Fight Club isn’t fiction. Protect yourself.

You’ll need a fat. You can substitute an oil for a vegan soap. Shit, mix them both. See if I care. You need to combine those and add heat. This cooks out the lye in the sodium hydroxide which is why is doesn’t burn your skin after this process. You’ll also add water to this to balance it all out. This process is called saponification.

The saponification is what makes the bubbles. Because the molecules connect into orbs. Think of it like a good crystal. It grows in that shape always. Halite (Sodium Chloride aka table salt) will always form into squares because that is in its molecular structure. Same with soap, except bubbles.

Soap without scent still cleans, but that’s lame. Let’s say we want to add a scent. This is super easy. You can add essential oils, as most of them come from plants and are safe for the skin. However, if you add fragrance oils, you must be sure to get skin-safe brands as they aren’t necessarily intended to be rubbed into the skin.

Add whatever scents you want to your brew, but in moderation because the oils and fragrance oils are extremely potent. As we all know, too much of a good thing is a bad thing. You can ask any elderly woman at church with perfume.

Now you’ve got a great mix. Pour that into a mould if you want. There is no law on soap shape. I looked into it. You can buy just about any type of mold, so I guess the soap community is large and thriving.

You’ve allowed your soap to cool and shape-up. Now it’s time to use it. What is going on when you wash your hands?

You’ve cooked out enough lye to make it skin-safe but there’s still enough in it for the ph level to be acidic. This means it breakdowns grease and germs, then the saponification mixed with the water brings the bubbles which pickup the germs and grime into bubbles, then you let the water rinse off the bubbles leaving you with clean hands.

Let’s say you don’t rinse the soap off with water. Well, you’ve killed the germs, but you didn’t rinse off the dead germs and your hands have sanitized fat on them. Just rinse with water and don’t look stupid.

Hand sanitizer doesn’t rinse off the dead germs, it just kills them. You’re still clean that way, just not as clean as your could be with the precision of soap. Also, the alcohol in the sanitizer dries out your skin, while a soap can moisturize.

Let’s rewind to fat. Sub out a coconut butter or something. Now you’re moisturizing.

There are infinite possibilities with soap, you can even buy a starter kit online for thirty bucks. There is only one certainty with soap; yes, soap does clean.